Tiny Stories, Tiny Tales

Peabodys vs. Football

I only knew it was superbowl Sunday because the grocery stores were madhouses and I inquired of the checkout lady what was up. "Oh, it's always like this on the Superbowl." Ohhh yeahhhhhhh, the Superbowl. The guy bagging up my groceries smiled very sadly at me after her comment. Did he want to be home? getting ready for the superbowl? Or did he rue the day of the Superbowl and felt downtrodden by it all? I don't really know but I left wondering how American I really was (I've never watched a football game ever. Though Homecoming in recent years has seemed intriguing. I've never been one. never went to high school). And then I laughed at myself for wondering if I was American Enough. Since when did that ever go through my head? Lordy.

Grocery store #2 was also beleaguered though the peoples behind the meat and cheese counters seemed happy enough and asked customers who they wanted to win.

So inspite of all this (or in a carefully measured reaction), I have decided to mention the fact that I finished the lovely 400 pg. biography of the Peabody Sisters. Peabody who? Elizabeth, Mary and Sophia Peabody. Elizabeth got a hold of the transcending idea before trandescendalism and Emerson knew what was what. The reclusive Sophia married the reclusive Hawthorne and Mary married…Horace…Horace…it escapes me. Basically, these woman played transcendalist ball with the best of them. Poor Elizabeth with her awesome teaching ideas got involved with the "man of genius but of little talents," Mr. Bronson Alcott. His school she worked at ended poorly because it involved Alcott but Elizabeth went on to work with the goverment in establishing nation-wide required kindergartens. Kindergartens! I have always wondered why we use the german word, kindergarten. Now I know. Elizabeth, like most high-brow intellectuals living circa 1830's, was huge on german ideas, german everything. Kindergarten! So anyways, it was a great biography, very well written, very fascinating. When one sister's life would get not so interesting, it was off to another sister who was getting interesting. I'd like to read more on Sophia and Hawthorne, I think. They were odd ducks and I'm an odd duck observer.

But in the meanwhile, on to more Tony Hillerman novels! I'll be sad when I've read them all and I almost have. The boon of these books is all the Navajo insights that get picked up. New insights about how the world works and how we work in it allow me to walk into each day far more serene, far more ready. And they're nice plot driven books besides!

So now for all those Superbowl fans…I hope some team wins? Thank you.

 

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Out for a Walk with the Wind and Water

I love being alone in the park along the river. As soon as I step out of my car, I tell that I’m alone by the unusual silence stretching out in all directions. It’s a special sort of hush because instead of human voices dominating the space, it’s the gentle call of birds, animals, wind, and water that fill the air. These are much more gentle and quiet for they represent a continuation of a certain life on this planet, a life much older than humans.

I glow inwardly as I walk the park alone and for the first time in days, I smile to myself. Some Buddha statues wear slight smiles, the internal smile to the eternal world and as the memory of the statues comes back to me, the pleasure of connection causes me to relax even more.

When alone outdoors, I can relate to myself most fully and watch and listen with more mindfulness. I hear the birds first—the chickadees scolding one another and sounding like sweet, soft toy horns and then the cardinals, chirruping and checking up on one another. The sparrows hop and cheep in barren branches, never to be overlooked and always numerous.

Then comes the sound of water, lapping along the riverbank, rolling itself under the bridge.

The wind follows, shifting a blanket of leaves across my path and swaying tree branches overhead. The evergreens branches issue a soft shirrrrr-ing sound as the wind passes through. They retain a green elegance while everything else is brown, stripped down bare.

After I have heard the squirrels cracking walnuts and rustling through the dried weeds, and after I have seen the wind ruffling the river’s top, then finally, I can hear myself. That sound is very low and deep and it takes me a little while to hear it, after the delight of hearing everything else. But it is there and it inevitably opens up what I need to know that day whether it be comfort, direction, an answer, a question, or all of it. It has taken my whole life to hear myself and I have paid a great price for it but I would do it again in a heartbeat. For when a woman has herself, the nightmares slip away back into the inky, black darkness and living life is hers.

And so the wind moves through the evergreens, it plays along the water, and dives between the feathers of the birds. It touches my face and we walk together, two entities atop this impossible blue planet.

Ouroboros in the Park

Japanese anemone flowers open blush pink petals in the park.  Their tall, delicate stems hold up the tender flowers, and in the centers glow tiny pistil-laden suns. Furry carpenter bees buzz in a frenzy, adoring the tiny suns. Like all true worshipers, they circle round and round the yellow centers, smearing themselves in joy and pollen.

I also circle a center, but the object of my adoration is the park itself. As the path guides me around and around, my body, full of the usual tensions and distresses, takes the cue, finds the beat and the measure and walks to it.

The English Romantic Poets of the early 19th century were great walkers and believed that walking was essential to writing to poetry. With the body busy, the mind can walk freely, investing in its visions and tunneling down into what were previously subterranean thoughts.

This small park is my open field, my verdure, my ramble through hill and dale. My feet move on, sometimes slowing to a near pause, other times hurrying, suddenly propelled by a new and vivid notion.

About the fifth time around, a sort of mesmerism occurs and I fall under the trance of the day. The circle becomes a mantra uttered by my feet—knees, hips, shoulders, and arms follow along and we head down the path. I must walk, I must keep walking, I must continue to walk and the resolution becomes a reassurance as a cool breeze fills my lungs; I am alive and refreshed.

I pass under the oaks and dodge their falling acorns. Sometimes I entertain the notion that squirrels are hurling them, but when I catch sight of their small triangular faces they look as startled as me. It is the oaks themselves that are throwing the acorns down. I momentarily consider bringing an umbrella, opening it when I walk under the oaks, but this an old consideration that I’ve been contemplating for years of autumns and I’ve never acted on it. Instead, I dodge and the squirrels stare hard.

Finally I have to go but the revolutions and bees in the park stay with me even after I leave, continuing  with their wheeling. They pass through the days and nights, rapturous and serene, monotonous some days and a miracle on others, and on most days both. They exist in the circle that is sometimes opened, sometimes closed. Within the circle, everything changes and nothing changes each time we pass through.

 

Kazuaki Tanahashi, Miracle at Each Moment